Influence and Persuasion

The alpha male understands that he can accomplish only so much in the world without the help of other people. It doesn’t matter how hardworking and intelligent he is, he knows that he needs the support of others in his pursuit of the best experiences in life.

Countless numbers of hardworking, intelligent beta males and less-dominant men struggle because they haven’t yet figured out that critical and distinct step toward life success. They misguidedly take pride in being “loners,” who make it their mission in life not to depend on anyone else for anything. They mistake that weakness for strength.

In order to become a powerful, successful and charismatic leader quickly and effectively, you must learn the skills of influence and persuasion. If you want to take the quality of your life to the next level, you must become a “people person.” The powerful men who get what they really want in life understand that everything ultimately comes from other people. It will be your ability to influence and persuade others to help you that will determine whether you get to enjoy better relationships with the most amazing people, have more exciting and fulfilling experiences, earn more money and be presented with the best deals.

Options are available for all of the things in life that you really want. Whether you realize it, they’re not the things you settle for. Options can be material things, experiences, feelings or emotions. Your goal should be to have access to as many of the best options in life as possible. You do not necessarily have to exercise all the options available to you. You just want to be in a position to have the choice—and not just hope it magically comes your way someday.

You deserve everything you’re currently getting in life, and you don’t deserve to be missing everything in life you are currently not getting—at least not yet. It’s that plain and simple. If you want more, start working on your influence and persuasion skills. The alpha male takes 100 percent responsibility for his success and failure, however. Don’t blame others if they don’t give you the respect or options that you think you deserve. Like the alpha male, you must take 100 percent responsibility for the way other people treat you. Start taking responsibility for what you are and are not getting.

Here’s what you must do to influence and persuade other people to help you get what you want:

1) Get other people to trust you, respect you, and see you as an expert. First, work hard on becoming the best version of you. That will give other people legitimate reasons to follow your lead. Actually become the person other people trust, respect and see as an expert. It takes time, focus, dedication, practice and exercise—so get to work on improving yourself now.

2) Have body language and voice quality that demonstrate to other people that they should trust you, respect you and see you as an expert. Powerful body language and confident voice quality are extremely important sales tools for influencing other people and letting them know you’re outstanding at what you do. Work on it. There are many extremely competent men in this world—but you’d never know it. Too many fail to present their body and use their voice in ways that communicate their competence.

3) Be confident about what you say and do. The world is desperately looking for leaders, and other people will buy into your reality. People want to be led by confident leaders. They’re waiting for you to step up and lead them. Right or wrong, confidence is sometimes more important to others than competence, whether they realize it or not.

4) If you’re not as confident as you should be, then you must learn to “fake it until you make it.” At the very least, play yourself up where you belong—and don’t play yourself down. Quit being humble! Despite what you may believe about how people prefer you to present yourself, playing humble is not serving you well. Since the beginning of time, leaders who have abused their power and the trust given them have deceived the masses into believing that being humble, quiet and turning the other cheek when someone takes advantage of you is righteous. Why did they do that? So the masses of people they influenced would just shut up and follow their lead without question.

5) If you want to be a master of influence and persuasion, you must take responsibility for both sides of the relationship. I understand that it’s sometimes difficult enough to keep yourself in line. To become an effective leader, you must become mentally and emotionally strong enough to carry both sides of every relationship you’re in. Make it your goal to be that strong without being taken advantage of.

6) Practice and exercise the skills of influence and persuasion. Be patient. Be persistent. The chances are great that you won’t be all that awesome at it at first—most people aren’t great at anything they first start doing. Don’t quit striving to get better, even if you blow it a few times. Keep on keepin’ on, my brother!

—Skip La Cour

Editor’s note: Six-time national-champion bodybuilder and success coach Skip La Cour is the creator of MANformation, a powerful personal-development and fitness program for men that is based on the qualities and actions of the world’s most powerful, influential and charismatic men. It is a structured series of alpha leadership strategies for transforming you into the man you really want to be. It doesn’t matter where you are in your life right now, what you have achieved so far or your age. The MANformation program will help you become a better version of you—step-by-step and one strategy at a time. To learn more about the MANformation personal-development program, visit www.MANformation.com. Sign up for the free weekly e-newsletter, and you’ll get a free alpha leadership e-book.